Marriage Benefit Imbalance.

Ref; Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert.
I have just finished reading this book . The author talks about that marriage does not benefit woman as much as it does men, In fact marriage is an institution that has always been very beneficial for men.
"Married men perform ‘dazzlingly’ better in life than single men. Married men live longer than single men, they accumulate more wealth than single men, excel at there careers above single men , are less likely to die of a violent death than single men , they report themselves to be much happier than single men and married men suffer less from alcoholism, drug addiction and depression than single men. There does not seem to be anything statistically speaking that a man doesn’t gain by getting married "
She goes on to say that “dishearteningly the reverse is not true. Modern woman do not fare better in life than their single counterparts. Married woman in America do not live longer than single woman; married woman do not accumulate as much wealth as single woman ( they take a 7% pay cut on average just for getting married) ; married woman do not thrive in their careers to the extent that single woman do; married woman are significantly less healthy than single woman; married woman are more likely to suffer depression than single woman; and married woman are more likely to suffer a violent death than single woman- usually at the hands of their husband, which makes a grim reality that the most dangerous person in the average woman’s life is her own man”
All this adds up to what sociologists called the “Marriage Benefit Imbalance” .
Don’t despair all you married women she goes on to write! "Apparently according to American statistics the imbalance is diminishing and there are some factors that can narrow the inequity considerably . These being – the more educated a married woman is, the more money she earns and the later in life she marries and the fewer children she has and the more help her husband offers with household chores the better her quality of life will be within the married".

Yeah there’s hope! Makes you question why so many of us get married !

This leads to advice all mothers should possibly give to their daughters: finish your schooling , get a good education, delay getting married for as long as possible ( and I would recommend , don’t live with your boyfriends in a pseudo ‘marriage’) , earn your own living , limit the number of children you have and find a man who doesn’t mind cleaning!

As for Nepal ? From what I have observed whilst here , woman work extremely hard married or not married and often forgo further education and careers for marriage due to this being the cultural expected norm as well as limited opportunities . There are significant risks to woman’s health when bearing children and to their unborn children and babies during the birth process. (Statistic’s vary from 3.7 births per woman to over 5 and infant mortality being 59 per 1000 births in 2005) . As far as the incidence of depression in woman in this culture woman I cannot comment besides saying that the statistics on -line quoted high rate’s of mental illness in this country when compared to more developed countries . There is also a high incidence of domestic violence for woman ( physical , sexual ,psychological , and deprivation and neglect ) In one research paper the following figures were quoted , emotional abuse 33% , and verbal abuse 77% and 88% of woman reported daily abuse. The abuse reported was by their husbands . There are less educational opportunities for woman than men with 2/3 of the female population being illiterate as compared to 1/3 of men.
One could therefore conclude that Nepalese woman are significantly more disadvantaged than men , and that marriage further disadvantages them . However on a more positive note , the conversations I have shared with woman did give me a sense that times are changing here for the better , with more awareness , educational opportunities and some Nepalese girls are being encouraged by their mothers to consider their options carefully .