Indian Humour

When reading the Hindustan Times a local newspaper Mark came across the 50 funniest jokes or one liners at they also called them in this article. Here are the Top 10 as voted by a team of researchers.

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says. "ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to the man next to her."That driver just insulted me!"The man says."You go up there and tell him off. Go on. I'll hold your monkey for you."

2. I went to the zoo the other day,there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.( Shit zoo -for Sama!)

3. Dyslexic man walks into a bra

4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair. so she go to a gun shop and buys a handgun( must be America-insert by Pauline ). The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. she grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to her husband, "shut up..... you're next!"

5. I said to the gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the Splits?" he said ,"How flexible are you?"I said. "I cant make Tuesdays"

6. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid , and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

7. Two aerials meet on a roof-fall in love-get married. The ceremony was rubbish-but the reception was brilliant .

8. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already

9. Doc (Dr) I cant stop singing the "Green Green Grass of Home ". He said ."That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome " 'Is it common I asked ?' 'Its not unusual ', he replied .

10. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says"Pint please, and one for the road"